Career Cross Roads

...so, right now, I'm at a crossroad in life as far as career is concerned.  For the past few years, I have worked a job without any promise of future benefit (literally).  Though it has been beneficial in some areas, it has not served me financial meaning that is, overall, a position that extracts more than it offers and is no longer of service to a healthy whole life for me.

Thanks to guidance in Underearners Anonymous (with secondary help in Debtor's Anonymous) and guidance from my God, I have increased clarity on what I spend each month, the finances I need to sustain a healthy life; meaning that I now have a minimum dollar amount that I need to properly care for myself (including vacations, special dietary needs, etc); to accept anything lower would be self debting or a form of self abuse. Additionally, accepting work in an environment that is abusive (laborious work, underearning companies that have difficulty paying their employees raises, etc) would also be self debting for me.  Even in the mist of economic challenge for lots of people and companies...there are still people and companies that are thriving.

So, at this crossroad, I am stepping out with my eyes wide open...knowing what I want and what I need to live a healthy whole life...

Do you feel deserving of living a healthy whole life? What does this look like/feel like for you? What actions are you willing to take to walk towards healthy whole living?

Endurance and Limitations

The past few weeks have been a sort of Olympics for me...but I continue the walk to victory my God promises if I don't cave in or quit in tough times. 

At points, I felt like quiting but instead I expressed my anger and other emotions to God and others; attended lots of 12 step meetings  and church service, journaled prayer some days I had no words other than, "God, help me"; then I'd go to sleep and do it over again.

Earlier this week, in the mist of emotional pain, I asked God, "What's the lesson...how is this painful period in my life 'purposeful' ?"  The message I perceived was that I was learning the art of endurance...hanging in there; not quiting when the rough got going; continuing the walk even though every cell in my body screamed, "I can't do this anymore". 

Later, I also saw that I was learning about my personal limitations: I'm only human and can only handle so much on my own...that I need God in soooo many ways...even with help in deciding how to fill my day...my life's agenda. 

A friend reminded me of the power of praise and suggested that I listen to praise music in morning or evening for fifteen minutes; he reminded me that Paul and Silas in the Book of Acts praised while they were imprisoned and shackles fell.  It had been a few days since my last praise music/dance therapy.  I took this advice and  felt a shift in the spiritual realm...the emotional vice loosened and I felt freedom....it's tough to explain...I felt different...lighter...hopeful...my energy returned and things that were tough to even think about, I did...no problem.  I am in peaceful place again with God...I feel as if I have stopped fighting/resisting God's loving, guiding presence in my life and blessing are flowing...or, maybe the blessings were there, I can see them now since the veil of resistance and deflection has been lifted.  "Thank you God for freedom for self-will run riot. Feels good to be home in your loving arms again..."

Follow the Laughter

"Follow the Laughter" is a phrase God gave me to find my passions in life.  There was I time when I had no idea what experiences brought happiness.  "Follow the Laughter" has helped me to see that I enjoy being with people who are self-aware and can laugh at their mistakes; I enjoy amusement parts and playing with children and joyful music and so much more. 

What brings laughter in you life? Are you following laughter to your joys in life?

Food as nourishment..not happiness, etc

Would you believe me if I told you that I haven't turned on a television in my home for three years...well, it's truth.  I learned that the average person views anywhere from 3,000 to 4, 000 advertised message a day!!  Now, don't get me wrong, there's a need for some advertising...how else would we learn of products and services we need to help live a quality life...but in my opinion there's overkill on the advertising...and advertising that unjustly uses shame and fear and pursuit of happiness as motivators.

I remember when I was opening eyes to awareness during my journey back to a healthy body size.  I gorged myself on television.  I could sing jingles (even some of them from childhood are still embossed in memory) of those seen frequently.  But, one day, I became aware of something...the impact of these seemingly harmless messages...particularly with food advertising.  One day, as I viewed  a restaurant commercial...as I watched people smiling and laughing as they ate this food on a table before them; I said, out loud, "Boy, they're having fun with that food".  As I heard those words roll over the threshold of my lips, I was shocked at the twisted logic....food was not fun...how did I ever get that notion; fun and happiness, for me,  comes from engaging relationships and having life enhancing experiences...not from eating.  Food is nourishment...plain and simple for me...it is fuel for my livelihood when I choose purposely...when I choose nutrient rich food.

From that point on, I decided to back away from television.  I watch it occasionally when working out at the gym or at family or friends homes...but not in my home and sparingly. I saw subconscious reasoning that added logs to the burning flame of compulsive eating in my life...I had been influenced to accept the faulty belief that food would add joy and happiness into my life...but it was the exact opposite...the more food I ate trying to get emotional needs met, the more miserable I became...thankful for freedom from the fallacy today...

How does the media influence your eating patterns? Is it time for a television fast.....

P.S. There's a reason why you see extreme close ups of steaming foods, etc...it enhances the appetite...there's a reason why certain colors like red and yellow are used in food advertising...I encourage you to search it out "influence of food advertising on eating patterns" on the Internet....

Life is not a Disney movie...

...so, I shared last time challenges that God walked me through...sometimes life is going to be challenging...it was fortold:

John 16:33- I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.


Knowing this doesn't make challenges easier for me, but it does add purpose to them.  When I am "going through" or "earning my victory badge" I can look for the lesson by rising above the circumstances: how have I grown? how could I grow? what's being revealed through this challenge...truth is revealed in the mist of walking on hot coals of life.

This morning after reading "Jesus Calling" (from today's date 2/1), attending a Christian Food recovery meeting on Joyce Meyer's book, "Battle Field of the Mind", God shared insight with me as I journaled these affirming words from God's heart to mine:

"...so, "no", life is not a Disney movie...there will be trouble/pain...expected it so that it will not shock you...know that I am here and that I have overcome any adversity that could ever raise it's head to conciousness in your life...and I have PRE-pared a way out...a way thru...hold my hand...remembering that I (circled) have overcome the world's troubles; and I (circled) know the way which you should go; so, I (circled) will lead you to victory thru a terain filled with landmines; with me you have victory"

Instead of running away from challengs of life, are you willing to allow God to walk yto victory?

Rising Above Circumstances

Car break in; home invasion; humiliation on the job; family conflict; financial challenge; job instability....these are all challenges I have, by the Grace of God experienced (or am experiencing) and still standing.

There have been times when I have accepted the decrepit hand of self-pity as it ushered me into the pit of depression....not today.  Today, I choose to rise above circumstances...they do not define who I am.  I am a winner...I fight the good fight when I hold the loving, omnipotent hand of God as he guides me into victory in all areas of life: prerequisite is trust surrender.

Just yesterday, I home was broken into...my laptop stolen; so much of my personal information was on there.  Yesterday during the height of all the chaos, I remained calm...saying, "I trust you Lord"...when thoughts of what was taken came to mind and the implications of that clanged like a cymbal in rapid succession between my ears (one worry after another, after another), I captured them on paper...and wrote actions that I could take.  One major action being trusting God's Love...now the ball is in my court to take these actions God has revealed as an act of self care and self love and nurturing.  All really is well.

I am choosing to rise above circumstances...and when I sit above my life's situations, I see patterns and gain understanding of the next healthy move :)What about you?

P.S. Got the idea from attending a recovery meeting this morning to study those who transcend challenge in life and still hold strong to the course/purpose/assignment in life  (i.e. Mandela)

Victory!

Victory is mine today....my place of peace is a sign of successful relating to God...of trust in  God vs trust in my limited abilities when I roll alone in self-will.

A friend shared the ACA (Adult Children of Alchoholics) concept of "spiritual bypass"...which describes the place one can go...patiently and assuredly trusting God's "way out" of what ever challenge presents itself; feeling anxiety, experiencing emotional pain without acting out or numbing self with lots of activity or food, or any other distraction that hinders healing that comes from "facing everything and recovering"...being open to the "next healthy action" to take...even if it is to "be still and KNOW" that God is working on one's behalf is what works; taking a look at obsessive worry thoughts/thoughts that evoke feelings of anxiety and asking Gods help with healthy actions to take and then diving in...

I trusted God and he lead me to a God loving mechanic who practices integrity and the love of God in his automotive ministry to repair my car most economically; I trusted God and he lead me to get up and go to church though all inside of me wanted to isolate and stay in bed...I went and it was as if God sang sweet songs of comfort and peace and love to my soul though the words of my Pastor reminding me to trust...so today, I am surrendered and trusting God to work out the details to work out the outcome as I take his suggestive steps...one day at a time...all is well...that's victory!!

What victory have you experienced: great or small? A step forward in thought or action is success!!