Today, I'm thankful...thankful for awareness of past pains that have resurfaced; thankful because thru the gift of awareness and expression of past pains and griefs, I am healing emotionally. Thankful that I no longer have to hide from pain...that I and loved and protected and nurtured by the Presence of a Loving Parent God; that I have a circle of trusted friends who are there in support of me...and I of them; that we can be real with each other...expressing true feelings and true thoughts...without condemnation...with love and acceptance of our humanness.
No longer do I feel the need to stay trapped in the self imposed prison of self abandonment...ignoring, discounting what I feel; what I need; what I want...I have the right to be exactly who I am in any given moment; and to ask for what I want or need; trusting God with provision...I feel free today and oh so thankful.
Once upon a time, I weighed well over 100 pounds more than I do today. By the Grace of God, awareness, and help from others who overcame this health challenge, I have been a healthy body size for over 3 1/2 years...a true gift. An obese body was a sign of my level of self abandonment. I ignored myself...my feelings; perceptions...I did not value myself and all the wonderful gifts I have to offer; and consequently, I accepted the same treatment from others....I was attracted, drawn to others who ignored me as well...but, as I have healed and acknowledged my pains; shed tears, shared words and prayed for and received God's healing and strengthening, I am different and I choose differently. I have grown immensely in self-love and appreciation; and my circle of trusted friends love and appreciate me as well...I am healing and healthier emotionally and am drawn to those who are healing and healthier emotionally. A part of God's healing and strengthening process for me included (s)counseling, support group participation and mentorship as well as gradual change from the unhealthy to the healthy expression of emotion/grief; migration from the unhealthy ways of doing to the healthy ways of doing.
So, today, I honor God, I acknowledge God who has rescued me from path of self destruction and set my feet on his path of healing and health as I am lovingly guided to higher and higher levels of awarness and healing through faith action....
May you embrace God's abundance and healing this day in every way...you're worth it :)
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Staying on Track
Hey there...hoping you're off to a wonderful morning. Got insight this morning around importance of "staying on track". I recently started tracking my time. In doing so, I see that there is a finite amount of it and what I do with it is crucial: determines the course of life.
By keeping a daily agenda (mapping out what I am to do on a weekly bases by plugging into my phone calendar activites that are non-negotiable: spiritual activity, self care, relationship building time, fun, work, etc), I can get the most out of the time blessing I have been given; vs falling into the blinded abyss of oblivion...which I liken to a scene in the movie, "Percy Jackson and the Lightening Theif".
In this movie, there's a scene where an adventurous trio enter a casino-like place and they eat the "lotus flower cookie" and get stuck in a dreamlike state, allowing time to be robbed from them thru lack of awareness. Well, keeping track of time helps me to stay in place of awareness and maximize the time God has given me...in the present is also where I connect to the wisdom and guidance of God.
In short, insight this morning was to stay on track with tracking time...this is healthy practice; and to not allow distractions in life (anything, anyone { including myself via emotional distraction} who deters from the plan that God and I have laid out for the day) to deter progress. There will be times to pause, to be flexible...remembering to ask God's wisdom in how to proceed...when and how long to pause; then, I ask God's help in hopping back on the planned path for the day without condemnation....everything is purposeful...even pauses or changes as God directs...
By keeping a daily agenda (mapping out what I am to do on a weekly bases by plugging into my phone calendar activites that are non-negotiable: spiritual activity, self care, relationship building time, fun, work, etc), I can get the most out of the time blessing I have been given; vs falling into the blinded abyss of oblivion...which I liken to a scene in the movie, "Percy Jackson and the Lightening Theif".
In this movie, there's a scene where an adventurous trio enter a casino-like place and they eat the "lotus flower cookie" and get stuck in a dreamlike state, allowing time to be robbed from them thru lack of awareness. Well, keeping track of time helps me to stay in place of awareness and maximize the time God has given me...in the present is also where I connect to the wisdom and guidance of God.
In short, insight this morning was to stay on track with tracking time...this is healthy practice; and to not allow distractions in life (anything, anyone { including myself via emotional distraction} who deters from the plan that God and I have laid out for the day) to deter progress. There will be times to pause, to be flexible...remembering to ask God's wisdom in how to proceed...when and how long to pause; then, I ask God's help in hopping back on the planned path for the day without condemnation....everything is purposeful...even pauses or changes as God directs...
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Birth of Recovery Lane: Adventures of Self Discovery
...so, this is a monumental occasion...the start of visibility in the world...the realization that what I have to say is important and valuable enough to share with the world. I am thankful to the God of my understanding, the God of the Bible, for soul healing that has given birth to this moment in time.
This blog is not about me...it is about the journey to healing in areas of my life received only through surrender and acceptance of help from others and help from a Power Greater than me...surrender to the evidence of depletion and destruction my choices brought...areas in my life where running on my own will, my own way of doing landed me in the "ditches" of life; totally defeated...and at the end of "self-effort". Though I tried my hardest, at one point in my life I found myself: in obesity (today, I am 142 pounds lighter; and have been a healthy body size for almost four years); in workaholism and activity addiction (have found and am still growing in finding balance between over-exertion and under-exertion); low self esteem (have grown and still growing in value of self); lacking ability to feel and express my emotions; to set healthy boundaries (today, I have healed and am healing; my abmy life is 200% better than it used to be...this may be a hyperbole, but it is truly the way I feel inside.
I have been inspired to share my day-to-day journey of self-discovery...starting from now...this moment. There will be times when I volley between past insight and current insight. My heart desire is to yield to the leading of God as far as posting is concerned..."Thy Will Be Done"...
This blog is not about me...it is about the journey to healing in areas of my life received only through surrender and acceptance of help from others and help from a Power Greater than me...surrender to the evidence of depletion and destruction my choices brought...areas in my life where running on my own will, my own way of doing landed me in the "ditches" of life; totally defeated...and at the end of "self-effort". Though I tried my hardest, at one point in my life I found myself: in obesity (today, I am 142 pounds lighter; and have been a healthy body size for almost four years); in workaholism and activity addiction (have found and am still growing in finding balance between over-exertion and under-exertion); low self esteem (have grown and still growing in value of self); lacking ability to feel and express my emotions; to set healthy boundaries (today, I have healed and am healing; my abmy life is 200% better than it used to be...this may be a hyperbole, but it is truly the way I feel inside.
I have been inspired to share my day-to-day journey of self-discovery...starting from now...this moment. There will be times when I volley between past insight and current insight. My heart desire is to yield to the leading of God as far as posting is concerned..."Thy Will Be Done"...
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