Endurance and Limitations

The past few weeks have been a sort of Olympics for me...but I continue the walk to victory my God promises if I don't cave in or quit in tough times. 

At points, I felt like quiting but instead I expressed my anger and other emotions to God and others; attended lots of 12 step meetings  and church service, journaled prayer some days I had no words other than, "God, help me"; then I'd go to sleep and do it over again.

Earlier this week, in the mist of emotional pain, I asked God, "What's the lesson...how is this painful period in my life 'purposeful' ?"  The message I perceived was that I was learning the art of endurance...hanging in there; not quiting when the rough got going; continuing the walk even though every cell in my body screamed, "I can't do this anymore". 

Later, I also saw that I was learning about my personal limitations: I'm only human and can only handle so much on my own...that I need God in soooo many ways...even with help in deciding how to fill my day...my life's agenda. 

A friend reminded me of the power of praise and suggested that I listen to praise music in morning or evening for fifteen minutes; he reminded me that Paul and Silas in the Book of Acts praised while they were imprisoned and shackles fell.  It had been a few days since my last praise music/dance therapy.  I took this advice and  felt a shift in the spiritual realm...the emotional vice loosened and I felt freedom....it's tough to explain...I felt different...lighter...hopeful...my energy returned and things that were tough to even think about, I did...no problem.  I am in peaceful place again with God...I feel as if I have stopped fighting/resisting God's loving, guiding presence in my life and blessing are flowing...or, maybe the blessings were there, I can see them now since the veil of resistance and deflection has been lifted.  "Thank you God for freedom for self-will run riot. Feels good to be home in your loving arms again..."

Follow the Laughter

"Follow the Laughter" is a phrase God gave me to find my passions in life.  There was I time when I had no idea what experiences brought happiness.  "Follow the Laughter" has helped me to see that I enjoy being with people who are self-aware and can laugh at their mistakes; I enjoy amusement parts and playing with children and joyful music and so much more. 

What brings laughter in you life? Are you following laughter to your joys in life?

Food as nourishment..not happiness, etc

Would you believe me if I told you that I haven't turned on a television in my home for three years...well, it's truth.  I learned that the average person views anywhere from 3,000 to 4, 000 advertised message a day!!  Now, don't get me wrong, there's a need for some advertising...how else would we learn of products and services we need to help live a quality life...but in my opinion there's overkill on the advertising...and advertising that unjustly uses shame and fear and pursuit of happiness as motivators.

I remember when I was opening eyes to awareness during my journey back to a healthy body size.  I gorged myself on television.  I could sing jingles (even some of them from childhood are still embossed in memory) of those seen frequently.  But, one day, I became aware of something...the impact of these seemingly harmless messages...particularly with food advertising.  One day, as I viewed  a restaurant commercial...as I watched people smiling and laughing as they ate this food on a table before them; I said, out loud, "Boy, they're having fun with that food".  As I heard those words roll over the threshold of my lips, I was shocked at the twisted logic....food was not fun...how did I ever get that notion; fun and happiness, for me,  comes from engaging relationships and having life enhancing experiences...not from eating.  Food is nourishment...plain and simple for me...it is fuel for my livelihood when I choose purposely...when I choose nutrient rich food.

From that point on, I decided to back away from television.  I watch it occasionally when working out at the gym or at family or friends homes...but not in my home and sparingly. I saw subconscious reasoning that added logs to the burning flame of compulsive eating in my life...I had been influenced to accept the faulty belief that food would add joy and happiness into my life...but it was the exact opposite...the more food I ate trying to get emotional needs met, the more miserable I became...thankful for freedom from the fallacy today...

How does the media influence your eating patterns? Is it time for a television fast.....

P.S. There's a reason why you see extreme close ups of steaming foods, etc...it enhances the appetite...there's a reason why certain colors like red and yellow are used in food advertising...I encourage you to search it out "influence of food advertising on eating patterns" on the Internet....

Life is not a Disney movie...

...so, I shared last time challenges that God walked me through...sometimes life is going to be challenging...it was fortold:

John 16:33- I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.


Knowing this doesn't make challenges easier for me, but it does add purpose to them.  When I am "going through" or "earning my victory badge" I can look for the lesson by rising above the circumstances: how have I grown? how could I grow? what's being revealed through this challenge...truth is revealed in the mist of walking on hot coals of life.

This morning after reading "Jesus Calling" (from today's date 2/1), attending a Christian Food recovery meeting on Joyce Meyer's book, "Battle Field of the Mind", God shared insight with me as I journaled these affirming words from God's heart to mine:

"...so, "no", life is not a Disney movie...there will be trouble/pain...expected it so that it will not shock you...know that I am here and that I have overcome any adversity that could ever raise it's head to conciousness in your life...and I have PRE-pared a way out...a way thru...hold my hand...remembering that I (circled) have overcome the world's troubles; and I (circled) know the way which you should go; so, I (circled) will lead you to victory thru a terain filled with landmines; with me you have victory"

Instead of running away from challengs of life, are you willing to allow God to walk yto victory?