Today, I choose to celebrate the wonderful, unique person that God created me to be. I am more valuable than rubies; so special that every hair on my head is accounted for by God. Every thought, every feeling (and I mean EVERY :) is important to God and He wants me to share with intimate detail my deepest expression of each.
Today, I give myself permission to express myself to laugh to play to find all that brings me joy and welcome it into my world. I feel free to let the little girl inside frolic in the fields of life. To skip or play hopscotch with the neighborhood kids; to run and play and jump with my little doggie; to be free with laughter and not be concerned with what others think or feel...to be free from people bondage...everybody's got an opinion a standard by which they live, but I don't have to agree with it...nor do others need to embrace my way of thinking or doing as their own. I am free to be exactly who God created me to be; I am free to learn from my own mistakes...trusting God as my Ultimate GPS system to guide me gently back on path...when I surrender and ask for help.
Today, I go where I am celebrated and not merely tolerated (thanks my friend for this one...you know who you are). To spend time with people who "get me"...where affirmation and acceptance, for who I am in the moment, flows freely like "a mighty river" (Thanks Dr. ML King for this analogy).
Today, I choose to be loving and kind...to practice unconditional love and compassion with self and others. Accepting myself just the way that I am. I am and others are exactly where we are suppose to be. If I don't like where I am (which is direct result of actions previously chosen), I can choose differently with God's help...without condemnation. Accepting the fact that there are times when I behave in a sheep like manner (http://gospelcentric.org/2011/02/01/12-characteristics-of-sheep/), but all I need to do is ask for God's help; take hold of his loving hand in sign of surrender and expect him to lead me out of the "sheep" mentality.
Life is about choice....Jesus died and gave me freedom to choose abundant life...today I receive it; I walk in it. It's a part of the "Grace"gift :)
How are you choosing life today?
P.S. Happy New Year to you all...
Monday, December 31, 2012
Friday, December 21, 2012
Choosing to be a Warrior (and not a victim)
Today, I choose to be a Warrior in life (instead of a victim saturated in self-piting thoughts). This article is around "war", but most of the tips can be applied in a general way if I think in terms of being a "Warrior" in the game of Life through the strength of God...as always, spiritual fitness, healthy relationship with God, determines my ability to wake up each morning and forge forth faithful in the authority I was given thru the Blood of Jesus!!! So, join me yall, as I put on my spirutual armor and go out there in the world, Warrior style, as I co-create thru divinely given actions from God!! I Win!!
How to Become a Warrior: 5 steps - wikiHow
How to Become a Warrior: 5 steps - wikiHow
Thursday, December 20, 2012
I win
"I win", proclaimed Papa before he commenced to spank our tails in card games. This memory brings a smile to my face of my grandfather and how he exuded confidence in winning before the card game started. Little did I know the lesson he was teaching me...a lesson from the pages of the Bible.
Calling those things that be not as though they were is God's way of doing. God said, "let there be light" and then there was light. God said, "let there be birds of the sky" and then there were birds of the sky. I am as my Heavenly Father. Jesus also used his faith filled words to make things happen. He cursed the fig tree to death...and it died. I too have the ability to make things happen with faith filled words and God directed, corresponding actions in my life.
This week encompassed three very challenging situations: the meeting of a hard dead line; threat of loss of vital information and a financial threat...fearful thoughts popped in of varying sorts as each of these situations arouse. I am out on the other side with a powerful awareness: I am able to trust God with the stormful waves of life that can only attempt capsize my boat of peace. God proved himself, once again, to be my hightower.
Once in meditation and prayer, I asked God, "Where was Jesus(spiritually/emotionally) when he was asleep while the disciples frantically reacted to the thought of death during a stormy story in the Bible. God whispered to my heart, "He was with me". You see, when I realize truth...that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, "I win" if I don't cave in, submit to fear and quit. Sometimes I may not get the outcome I would like, but I can trust that God has my best interest at heart and that all things really do work together for my good and for the good of others though I may not understand in the moment.
I am happy to say that during my stormy period, I chose to hold the hand of God; to walk courageously; to remind myself that the God of the universe is in me and with me and working behind the scenes on my behalf. I reached out to others for encouragement and support...to talk about my feelings. I chose not to pick up any numbing substances or behaviors. i chose not to overeat, not to get time-drunk or get lost in time/denial; I chose not use avoidance or escapism...by the grace of God, I chose to "face everything" with a victor's mentality: "I win". Thoughout this time, I constantly asked God for help and insight on what to do next and how to do it; and for strength to do it and without fail, I heard and I did. God knew the way out of "no way"...I followed the trail of trust he layed before me to victory. All is well. Thank you God!
When was the last time you followed the voice of God to victory? Have you encouraged someone with your testimony of overcoming?
Calling those things that be not as though they were is God's way of doing. God said, "let there be light" and then there was light. God said, "let there be birds of the sky" and then there were birds of the sky. I am as my Heavenly Father. Jesus also used his faith filled words to make things happen. He cursed the fig tree to death...and it died. I too have the ability to make things happen with faith filled words and God directed, corresponding actions in my life.
This week encompassed three very challenging situations: the meeting of a hard dead line; threat of loss of vital information and a financial threat...fearful thoughts popped in of varying sorts as each of these situations arouse. I am out on the other side with a powerful awareness: I am able to trust God with the stormful waves of life that can only attempt capsize my boat of peace. God proved himself, once again, to be my hightower.
Once in meditation and prayer, I asked God, "Where was Jesus(spiritually/emotionally) when he was asleep while the disciples frantically reacted to the thought of death during a stormy story in the Bible. God whispered to my heart, "He was with me". You see, when I realize truth...that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, "I win" if I don't cave in, submit to fear and quit. Sometimes I may not get the outcome I would like, but I can trust that God has my best interest at heart and that all things really do work together for my good and for the good of others though I may not understand in the moment.
I am happy to say that during my stormy period, I chose to hold the hand of God; to walk courageously; to remind myself that the God of the universe is in me and with me and working behind the scenes on my behalf. I reached out to others for encouragement and support...to talk about my feelings. I chose not to pick up any numbing substances or behaviors. i chose not to overeat, not to get time-drunk or get lost in time/denial; I chose not use avoidance or escapism...by the grace of God, I chose to "face everything" with a victor's mentality: "I win". Thoughout this time, I constantly asked God for help and insight on what to do next and how to do it; and for strength to do it and without fail, I heard and I did. God knew the way out of "no way"...I followed the trail of trust he layed before me to victory. All is well. Thank you God!
When was the last time you followed the voice of God to victory? Have you encouraged someone with your testimony of overcoming?
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
God, is my SuperHERO
Today, I woke up in a dreary mode...feeling emotionally and physically heavy. Though I didn't feel up to participating in my morning recovery meetings, I did one small reading. I overcame by taking contrary action...making the healthy choice even though I didn't feel up to it.
Why was I feeling this way...as I reviewed the thoughts that tossed about in my mind, I could see clutter...thoughts of all the things I needed to do in preparation for travel this week; of all the things I needed to do in my personal development programs: record expenses in master expense sheet, complete a 4th step inventory assignment; also needed to apply for positions God blessed me with, read documents kindly provided; clean my home; return seven phone calls....on and on and on. I was feeling overwhelmed with by vastness of my "to do" list. My thoughts insisted that I do all of these things before my departure (in two days). I stopped and asked God for help...seconds later, I received a text message from a sponsor that included the first step prayer of Debtors Anonymous...it reminded me of my powerlessness and unmanagability of life without the help of God. I asked for help and I received Amos 9 "and suddenly" assistance...God is my SuperHero...and only a whisper away....He is the way out of no way...He is the Answer Man...
I remembered that I need not worry; that my need in the moment was to calm down...get out of fear (and into trust) of not having enough time... I have all that I need...all the time I need is there...it's a matter of using it wisely and this is where I must rely on God. I must lean not on my own way but acknowledge God in all and he will make my path straight (Prov. 3:5).
After I'm done with this blog entry, I will spend time with God; ask for Good Orderly Direction for this day; write it down and step faithfully into the day expecting God to guide me...I have the time I need to do what God wants me to do today...Thank you God for the willingness to hear and do your will today....all is well...
Have you spent time with God today? Will you allow him to be your SuperHero?
Why was I feeling this way...as I reviewed the thoughts that tossed about in my mind, I could see clutter...thoughts of all the things I needed to do in preparation for travel this week; of all the things I needed to do in my personal development programs: record expenses in master expense sheet, complete a 4th step inventory assignment; also needed to apply for positions God blessed me with, read documents kindly provided; clean my home; return seven phone calls....on and on and on. I was feeling overwhelmed with by vastness of my "to do" list. My thoughts insisted that I do all of these things before my departure (in two days). I stopped and asked God for help...seconds later, I received a text message from a sponsor that included the first step prayer of Debtors Anonymous...it reminded me of my powerlessness and unmanagability of life without the help of God. I asked for help and I received Amos 9 "and suddenly" assistance...God is my SuperHero...and only a whisper away....He is the way out of no way...He is the Answer Man...
I remembered that I need not worry; that my need in the moment was to calm down...get out of fear (and into trust) of not having enough time... I have all that I need...all the time I need is there...it's a matter of using it wisely and this is where I must rely on God. I must lean not on my own way but acknowledge God in all and he will make my path straight (Prov. 3:5).
After I'm done with this blog entry, I will spend time with God; ask for Good Orderly Direction for this day; write it down and step faithfully into the day expecting God to guide me...I have the time I need to do what God wants me to do today...Thank you God for the willingness to hear and do your will today....all is well...
Have you spent time with God today? Will you allow him to be your SuperHero?
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Self-centeredness vs self-care
There's a line in the Alcohols Anonymous Big Book that shares that self-centeredness driven by fear is at the root of all drama in life. I have really been pondering this concept of self centeredness driven by fear and it's destructive impact on quality of life. "Me, me, me" driven by "More, more, more"; putting undue stress and strain on self (using unrealistic perfection as measuring stick), others and God to carry out MY will...to honor MY desires when in a place of deprivation fear...survival fear.
Though "self-centeredness" is unhealthy, self-care (doing what I need to do to care for myself spiritually, emotionally, socially, physically, financially, etc) is not...I am still learning the difference between the two. I see self-centeredness when I am in fear of not getting what I want or need; or if I fear losing what I have (from a person or institution, etc)...and I see self-care as genuine actions taken to love myself (development of interdependent relationship with God, setting healthy boundaries with myself and others; nurturing self emotionally, exercising disciplines with money, time, health, etc). Self-care is motivated from a heart motive of self love; self centeredness is motivated from a heart motive of fear.
Being of service to others in conjunction with enhancing trusting, loving relationship with God has been a life changer for me. What has worked for me (and this represents a paradigm shift for me) is asking God, "How can I be of service to you"...realizing that being of service to God is the same as being of service to the Children of God (whatever done for the least of my children says God...drawing a blank on the scripture )...writing, sharing my journey is one way that I am of service.
Additionally, I have recently I found myself accepting service position in my neighborhood association; thinking of how I can be of service to my family when I visit for Christmas; but as I plan service to others, I must also keep in mind my personal limitations...being sure that I have adequate rest, food, spiritual time, keep in mind my budget as far as money and time are concerned...and give from place of abundance...cause when I give what I need to survive, I put myself into a sort of debting/deficit where I can not be of maximum service to God or to humanity. Asking God to help me choose what service opportunities to take and which to leave for another ("there's lots of need in the world, doesn't mean that I am to meet all of it").
How has self centeredness robbed your life of peace in relationship with God, yourself and others? How do you practice self-care? How do you feel about meeting self care needs before serving others?
P.S. Self Care:
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families
The Basic Five(Daily Needs):
1.Adequate Respiration(body ventilation)
2.Adequate Hydration,Nutrition and elimination
3.Adequate Rest and restorative sleep
4.Adequate Temperature Regulation(Internal and external)
5.Adequate Stimulus Level (Avoiding Stimulus Overload and
Stimulus deprivation-pain, fear, panic, despair, and exhaustion)
This information also came from A Crime Scene Reconstruction Workshop
http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=22448
Though "self-centeredness" is unhealthy, self-care (doing what I need to do to care for myself spiritually, emotionally, socially, physically, financially, etc) is not...I am still learning the difference between the two. I see self-centeredness when I am in fear of not getting what I want or need; or if I fear losing what I have (from a person or institution, etc)...and I see self-care as genuine actions taken to love myself (development of interdependent relationship with God, setting healthy boundaries with myself and others; nurturing self emotionally, exercising disciplines with money, time, health, etc). Self-care is motivated from a heart motive of self love; self centeredness is motivated from a heart motive of fear.
Being of service to others in conjunction with enhancing trusting, loving relationship with God has been a life changer for me. What has worked for me (and this represents a paradigm shift for me) is asking God, "How can I be of service to you"...realizing that being of service to God is the same as being of service to the Children of God (whatever done for the least of my children says God...drawing a blank on the scripture )...writing, sharing my journey is one way that I am of service.
Additionally, I have recently I found myself accepting service position in my neighborhood association; thinking of how I can be of service to my family when I visit for Christmas; but as I plan service to others, I must also keep in mind my personal limitations...being sure that I have adequate rest, food, spiritual time, keep in mind my budget as far as money and time are concerned...and give from place of abundance...cause when I give what I need to survive, I put myself into a sort of debting/deficit where I can not be of maximum service to God or to humanity. Asking God to help me choose what service opportunities to take and which to leave for another ("there's lots of need in the world, doesn't mean that I am to meet all of it").
How has self centeredness robbed your life of peace in relationship with God, yourself and others? How do you practice self-care? How do you feel about meeting self care needs before serving others?
P.S. Self Care:
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families
The Basic Five(Daily Needs):
1.Adequate Respiration(body ventilation)
2.Adequate Hydration,Nutrition and elimination
3.Adequate Rest and restorative sleep
4.Adequate Temperature Regulation(Internal and external)
5.Adequate Stimulus Level (Avoiding Stimulus Overload and
Stimulus deprivation-pain, fear, panic, despair, and exhaustion)
This information also came from A Crime Scene Reconstruction Workshop
http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=22448
Monday, December 17, 2012
Let's see what happens :)
"Never judge the book by it's cover" is a saying I grew up with. Have you ever gathered preliminary information about a person, a business, etc before she/he opened mouth or before entering the door of the business? I have...it's a shortcoming which God is helping me to overcome.
Yesterday, at church, there was a visiting minister. Before he delivered I judged him as "not as capable" as the pastor. I was establishing blocks to his message. I asked God to help me receive the message this man was here to deliver on behalf of God.
OH MY GOODNESS...this guy was fabulous...his style was a bit different...more prophetic than teaching, but powerful messages that ministered to my heart and need in this moment. The Message was one that encouraged me to expect challenges...and to prepare for them (instead of hide from them) by building my spiritual house through strengthened connection with God as my high tower...
I tend to have a reaction to change...instead of balking (internally or externally) to change, I'm asking God to help me embrace change with a "let's see what happens" attitude; as I expect God's Best. So, the next time, there is a different minister at church, or a different anything...I have a new, healthy replacement response to utilize.
A friend of mine shared a meditation she uses to decrease judgement. First thing in the morning she says, "I am exactly the way I am suppose to be today. Others are exactly the way they are to be today. The world is exactly the way it is suppose to be today". When I practice this, I feel a sense of acceptance of myself, people and the world "as is" as I rely on God to help me navigate victoriously through obstacles and take steps towards the life God has planned for me that day (a life of total abundance is God's Will for me). My time is best spent surrendering to God's will for my life each day instead of trying to force others to line up with my expectations.
Have you judged a "book by it's cover"? If yes, are you willing to embrace a "let's see what happens" attitude?
Yesterday, at church, there was a visiting minister. Before he delivered I judged him as "not as capable" as the pastor. I was establishing blocks to his message. I asked God to help me receive the message this man was here to deliver on behalf of God.
OH MY GOODNESS...this guy was fabulous...his style was a bit different...more prophetic than teaching, but powerful messages that ministered to my heart and need in this moment. The Message was one that encouraged me to expect challenges...and to prepare for them (instead of hide from them) by building my spiritual house through strengthened connection with God as my high tower...
I tend to have a reaction to change...instead of balking (internally or externally) to change, I'm asking God to help me embrace change with a "let's see what happens" attitude; as I expect God's Best. So, the next time, there is a different minister at church, or a different anything...I have a new, healthy replacement response to utilize.
A friend of mine shared a meditation she uses to decrease judgement. First thing in the morning she says, "I am exactly the way I am suppose to be today. Others are exactly the way they are to be today. The world is exactly the way it is suppose to be today". When I practice this, I feel a sense of acceptance of myself, people and the world "as is" as I rely on God to help me navigate victoriously through obstacles and take steps towards the life God has planned for me that day (a life of total abundance is God's Will for me). My time is best spent surrendering to God's will for my life each day instead of trying to force others to line up with my expectations.
Have you judged a "book by it's cover"? If yes, are you willing to embrace a "let's see what happens" attitude?
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Relationships
Relationships have been a slippery slope for me. When I first started my recovery journey in Overeaters Anonymous (OA), I found that I had substituted loving, supportive relationship with people for illusion of relationship with food...I ran to food for comfort and for celebration, and more. I felt uneasy about sharing with people. I lacked trust. Today, I am surrounding by a loving, accepting tribe of healing...we are committed to each other and I feel safe sharing my woes as well as my triumphs with them; and it's reciprocal. I desire deep connections with people who are ok with being who they are...ok with exposing strengthens as well as opportunities of improvement they have discovered about themselves...no condemnation. My friends and I learn and are inspired and encouraged by each other.
Also, today, the word "relationship" means more than heart-to-heart, authentic connection with other people. It's also about heart-to-heart, honest connection with myself and with God. When I can spend time in self-reflection, I see who I truly am...knowing that if there is a trait that is wonderful, that it's ok to give myself a "high-five"; but also realizing that it's ok to make mistakes cause this is how I grow...awareness thru mistakes is a gift cause then I can choose to do differently if I want to grow. When I am in authentic relationship with myself, I can see the need (i.e. need for development, encouragement, nurturing) loaded behind a fear and take steps to meet it. Practice of loving-kindness with myself when I take time to listen and respond gentle to my healthy desires is my norm...and I'm thankful.
Relationship with God is most important. God is the wind beneath my wings. Nurturing my relationship with God is about communing: sharing my thoughts, dreams, likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams; includes asking God to direct my thinking; to teach me to want what he wants for me (God wants what is best for me). Relationship with God includes dancing to my favorite music for him; visualizing a Father/daughter dance with him; meditation about his goodness to me; thanking him for the honor of his Presence in my life and for his guidance and strength. When I am strong in spiritual relationship with God, all other relationships flourish because I am able to be a loving, secure presence...knowing and feeling that I am loved and that I have all that I need; and when I feel secure...I am able to be of maximum service to God, to myself and to others.
What's the quality of your relationships? Are you in loving, open, accepting relationship with God, yourself and others? Is there room for improvement...
Also, today, the word "relationship" means more than heart-to-heart, authentic connection with other people. It's also about heart-to-heart, honest connection with myself and with God. When I can spend time in self-reflection, I see who I truly am...knowing that if there is a trait that is wonderful, that it's ok to give myself a "high-five"; but also realizing that it's ok to make mistakes cause this is how I grow...awareness thru mistakes is a gift cause then I can choose to do differently if I want to grow. When I am in authentic relationship with myself, I can see the need (i.e. need for development, encouragement, nurturing) loaded behind a fear and take steps to meet it. Practice of loving-kindness with myself when I take time to listen and respond gentle to my healthy desires is my norm...and I'm thankful.
Relationship with God is most important. God is the wind beneath my wings. Nurturing my relationship with God is about communing: sharing my thoughts, dreams, likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams; includes asking God to direct my thinking; to teach me to want what he wants for me (God wants what is best for me). Relationship with God includes dancing to my favorite music for him; visualizing a Father/daughter dance with him; meditation about his goodness to me; thanking him for the honor of his Presence in my life and for his guidance and strength. When I am strong in spiritual relationship with God, all other relationships flourish because I am able to be a loving, secure presence...knowing and feeling that I am loved and that I have all that I need; and when I feel secure...I am able to be of maximum service to God, to myself and to others.
What's the quality of your relationships? Are you in loving, open, accepting relationship with God, yourself and others? Is there room for improvement...
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Wrap me in Your arms
"There is a God who loves me; who wraps me in his arms" is a line of lyric from one of my favorite songs....so beautiful. I sometimes use it to conjure up a meditative vision of protection and care...a place of peace.
My human part sometimes yearns for the touch of compassion or words of affirmation or glaze of belonging from another human being...to feel connected. Yes, I am human and I need healthy, non-codependent connection with others; but most of all, I need connection with God.
I remember a time when I was in one of these moments. I felt as great need for human interaction to appease; and I called to God. Intuitive thought said, "Come up to who you are"...you see, I was so aligned with my "flesh" self; overcome by demands of my physical self...that I forgot that who I truly am is spirit; and that my born again spirit is one with the God of this universe...my True Spirit Self resides at core of my physical body...and is intertwined with God's Holy Spirit...I am never forsaken. I am never alone when I remember who I truly am.
The lyrics mentioned above are from one of my favorite songs, "Wrap Me in Your Arms". It reminds me of the secret place inside where I can go to snuggle up to my God in joyful times of celebration as well sorrowful times of loss or disappointment (and everything in between). Wrapped in the reliably loving, protective, comforting arms of God is where I find solace in an ever changing world...
Are you in need of the ever-steady, reliable loving, comforting arms of God? He wants to wrap you in his arms; kiss the top of your head as he rocks you ever so gently in his arms...you are loved...
Wrap me in Your arms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOVm2A0Pa4U
My human part sometimes yearns for the touch of compassion or words of affirmation or glaze of belonging from another human being...to feel connected. Yes, I am human and I need healthy, non-codependent connection with others; but most of all, I need connection with God.
I remember a time when I was in one of these moments. I felt as great need for human interaction to appease; and I called to God. Intuitive thought said, "Come up to who you are"...you see, I was so aligned with my "flesh" self; overcome by demands of my physical self...that I forgot that who I truly am is spirit; and that my born again spirit is one with the God of this universe...my True Spirit Self resides at core of my physical body...and is intertwined with God's Holy Spirit...I am never forsaken. I am never alone when I remember who I truly am.
The lyrics mentioned above are from one of my favorite songs, "Wrap Me in Your Arms". It reminds me of the secret place inside where I can go to snuggle up to my God in joyful times of celebration as well sorrowful times of loss or disappointment (and everything in between). Wrapped in the reliably loving, protective, comforting arms of God is where I find solace in an ever changing world...
Are you in need of the ever-steady, reliable loving, comforting arms of God? He wants to wrap you in his arms; kiss the top of your head as he rocks you ever so gently in his arms...you are loved...
Wrap me in Your arms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOVm2A0Pa4U
Friday, December 14, 2012
"Safe" Communicator
Here in the US, the first amendment sets the stage for freedom of speech. One can basically say whatever as long as it is not slanderous, obscene or critical as in "fighting words"; but what about freedom of speech on the interpersonal level? Yes, the above guiding rotters for speech work, but for me, there is another level to healthy interpersonal communication: "safe" communication.
Safe communication is considerate, it gentle without judgement or criticism. It opens the door for true intimacy by way of rigorous honesty. When there is safe communication between folks...courage is present...there is trust...it's like skinny dipping in a jacuzzi of warm, bubbling healing waters...relaxing and stress free...there's freedom to be whoever we are in the moment...there is unconditional acceptance (verbally and non verbally) of what the person is saying...after all, it is their truth in the moment...and we all have the right to our feelings, perceptions...our truths whether the listener understands, agrees or not.
In order to be a safe communicator with others, I find that I must be a safe communicator with myself first. That when I say unkind or inconsiderate words out loud or inside my head (i.e. "Oh, look at what you did...you weren't suppose to do that) to myself, that I do my best to restructure those words too affirming ones (ie. "Well, it is what it is. I made a mistake and mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow. Since I don't like this outcome, what can I choose to do differently next time?). And, then, I can "clean up the wreckage" or damage with an amends and restitution to anyone I've harmed...even if the one harmed is myself....important for me to make amends to myself as well.
The God is a safe communicator...I have said some inconsiderate things to God in moments of anger and brutal honesty. God knew that this was not my norm...that I was off a bit. He waited til I was calm and brought the healing balm of love by way of a seemingly random statements from a person was totally unaware of what happened previously between God and I; and then God gently spoke words to my spirit (in question form) which prompted self reflective thought of my behavior. God offered total love, understanding and grace...without condemnation; this is my goal...to be a loving, safe communicator as God is with me...I do my best on a daily bases...
Are you a safe communicator with yourself? With others? What action are you willing to take to become a healthier communicator?
P.S. A couple of great books to read:
Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Adult Children of Alcoholic /Dysfunctional Families book "The Red Book"
Safe communication is considerate, it gentle without judgement or criticism. It opens the door for true intimacy by way of rigorous honesty. When there is safe communication between folks...courage is present...there is trust...it's like skinny dipping in a jacuzzi of warm, bubbling healing waters...relaxing and stress free...there's freedom to be whoever we are in the moment...there is unconditional acceptance (verbally and non verbally) of what the person is saying...after all, it is their truth in the moment...and we all have the right to our feelings, perceptions...our truths whether the listener understands, agrees or not.
In order to be a safe communicator with others, I find that I must be a safe communicator with myself first. That when I say unkind or inconsiderate words out loud or inside my head (i.e. "Oh, look at what you did...you weren't suppose to do that) to myself, that I do my best to restructure those words too affirming ones (ie. "Well, it is what it is. I made a mistake and mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow. Since I don't like this outcome, what can I choose to do differently next time?). And, then, I can "clean up the wreckage" or damage with an amends and restitution to anyone I've harmed...even if the one harmed is myself....important for me to make amends to myself as well.
The God is a safe communicator...I have said some inconsiderate things to God in moments of anger and brutal honesty. God knew that this was not my norm...that I was off a bit. He waited til I was calm and brought the healing balm of love by way of a seemingly random statements from a person was totally unaware of what happened previously between God and I; and then God gently spoke words to my spirit (in question form) which prompted self reflective thought of my behavior. God offered total love, understanding and grace...without condemnation; this is my goal...to be a loving, safe communicator as God is with me...I do my best on a daily bases...
Are you a safe communicator with yourself? With others? What action are you willing to take to become a healthier communicator?
P.S. A couple of great books to read:
Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Adult Children of Alcoholic /Dysfunctional Families book "The Red Book"
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Clarity brings confidence
Vagueness was a constant in my life. I was vague about the foods I put into my mouth; vague about the money I had on account, vague about the emotions I felt...and honestly, there were lots of times when I just plain did not want to know (denial) truth; because to know the truth would bring acknowledgement of the subsequent damage to quality of life that ensued because of the vagueness...and though the lack of clarity caused pain, I didn't want the change (fear of change= neophobia) that was needed to thrive.
Today, I practice clarity with my food. I know what foods are toxic and influence overeating...I ask many questions when I go out to eat to have clarity on what ingredients I'm ingesting. This brings confidence that the foods I put in my body add to my quality of life instead of take away from it.
Additionally, with finances, I keep a spending journal of daily expenses. Each time I spend, I record; then I plug the numbers into a master sheet for the month so that I have clarity on my spending behaviors. I also keep track of amounts in savings and checking; and I have an accountability group of people who gently encourage this healthy behavior. This way, I know I can set healthy boundaries with money...spending what I have allotted. Knowing truth about finances brings confidence that I have what I need.
And, as for emotion, I practice emotional intelligence...knowing how I feel, what I like and dis like; setting boundaries with self and others...basically, honoring the desire of my inner self...the part of self that is connected with God, my spirit. God guides me according to my feelings and perceptions (when I am peaceful and in "trust love" with God vs "deprivation fear"). Clarity in emotion brings confidence because it's very affirming to honor self.
Thanks to the guidance of God, I am healing from the malady of vagueness...from self-delusion...from not wanting to know truth. Most days I'm ok with being who I am; used to think that being flawed was a sin...that I was to be perfect; and others had to see only the perfect parts of me...but, in my world today, there no such thing as a "perfect" me...I am exactly who I am suppose to be today...perfectly imperfect. I receive the grace of God ushered in by the Blood of Jesus....Jesus died to be the bridge leading me back to a relationship with God who loves me unconditionally, imperfections and all...
Are there areas of vagueness, self-delusion in your life? Do you want to improve your quality of life with clarity? What small step are you willing to take today towards clarity, to experience more confidence in your life?
Today, I practice clarity with my food. I know what foods are toxic and influence overeating...I ask many questions when I go out to eat to have clarity on what ingredients I'm ingesting. This brings confidence that the foods I put in my body add to my quality of life instead of take away from it.
Additionally, with finances, I keep a spending journal of daily expenses. Each time I spend, I record; then I plug the numbers into a master sheet for the month so that I have clarity on my spending behaviors. I also keep track of amounts in savings and checking; and I have an accountability group of people who gently encourage this healthy behavior. This way, I know I can set healthy boundaries with money...spending what I have allotted. Knowing truth about finances brings confidence that I have what I need.
And, as for emotion, I practice emotional intelligence...knowing how I feel, what I like and dis like; setting boundaries with self and others...basically, honoring the desire of my inner self...the part of self that is connected with God, my spirit. God guides me according to my feelings and perceptions (when I am peaceful and in "trust love" with God vs "deprivation fear"). Clarity in emotion brings confidence because it's very affirming to honor self.
Thanks to the guidance of God, I am healing from the malady of vagueness...from self-delusion...from not wanting to know truth. Most days I'm ok with being who I am; used to think that being flawed was a sin...that I was to be perfect; and others had to see only the perfect parts of me...but, in my world today, there no such thing as a "perfect" me...I am exactly who I am suppose to be today...perfectly imperfect. I receive the grace of God ushered in by the Blood of Jesus....Jesus died to be the bridge leading me back to a relationship with God who loves me unconditionally, imperfections and all...
Are there areas of vagueness, self-delusion in your life? Do you want to improve your quality of life with clarity? What small step are you willing to take today towards clarity, to experience more confidence in your life?
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
The Time it takes is the time it takes...
"The time it takes is the time it takes"...meditating on this statement today. It came to me after wondering, "Why am I so adamant about forcing my solution, my way even though it clearly does not work?" Great question posed to self...I see that it's easy to do what is familiar vs stepping out to learn a different way; it takes a lot more time and effort to do differently...it also takes humility; admitting that I need help or development in an area of life.
It takes faith in "the process of development"...that what has worked for others can work for me if I'm willing to support self; to nurture self by giving the gift of my time and patience to the quality of life, enhancement process. If I'm willing to support self by reaching out for help from others who have acquired positive outcome in the area where I am in need of development, I grow. And if I am willing to ask God's help in guiding, directing, inspiring and comforting me, I strengthen in my trusting relationship with him...learning that I can depend on God to direct my path...that I don't have to know the answers or even where to go to get the answers; that if I surrender with a heart of a child towards God...asking for help...that He alway illuminates the path on which I am to travel...a path that always leads to victory.
Additionally, it takes commitment to self...to the process of development...that I am worthy of the time it takes to heal, to develop. Remembering that when I push the gas on development, I fry myself mentally and physically. I suffer consequences associated with exhaustion; then everything is much more difficult to accomplish...but when I take it easy, listening to cues from my body and mind (looking for non-verbal expressions of needs like rest or wants like fun; and earnestly making effort to meet them) then life is lovely and peaceful...serene; and I grow and am able to be an example of that growth to others.
"The time it takes is the time it takes" and "Easy does it" are themes today...thank you God for the gift of self-love and appreciation...and the willingness to listen and to follow your still, small voice of wisdom when whispered ever so gently to my heart.
Have you been pushing the gas on your healing? Forcing self to rush through a process...feeling frazzled? Exhausted? How can you integrate the themes, "The time it takes is the time it takes" and "Easy does it" into your life today...
It takes faith in "the process of development"...that what has worked for others can work for me if I'm willing to support self; to nurture self by giving the gift of my time and patience to the quality of life, enhancement process. If I'm willing to support self by reaching out for help from others who have acquired positive outcome in the area where I am in need of development, I grow. And if I am willing to ask God's help in guiding, directing, inspiring and comforting me, I strengthen in my trusting relationship with him...learning that I can depend on God to direct my path...that I don't have to know the answers or even where to go to get the answers; that if I surrender with a heart of a child towards God...asking for help...that He alway illuminates the path on which I am to travel...a path that always leads to victory.
Additionally, it takes commitment to self...to the process of development...that I am worthy of the time it takes to heal, to develop. Remembering that when I push the gas on development, I fry myself mentally and physically. I suffer consequences associated with exhaustion; then everything is much more difficult to accomplish...but when I take it easy, listening to cues from my body and mind (looking for non-verbal expressions of needs like rest or wants like fun; and earnestly making effort to meet them) then life is lovely and peaceful...serene; and I grow and am able to be an example of that growth to others.
"The time it takes is the time it takes" and "Easy does it" are themes today...thank you God for the gift of self-love and appreciation...and the willingness to listen and to follow your still, small voice of wisdom when whispered ever so gently to my heart.
Have you been pushing the gas on your healing? Forcing self to rush through a process...feeling frazzled? Exhausted? How can you integrate the themes, "The time it takes is the time it takes" and "Easy does it" into your life today...
Monday, December 10, 2012
Social Anorexia
Recoiling like a hot flame from the potential pains of exposure...potential pains or emotionally abusive social lashing resulting from speaking my truth; of being the unique person God created me to be. Fears connected with revealing who I truly am before the world surfaced yesterday.
A stroll down memory lane revealed a pattern of isolation also called social anorexia in one 12 step community I am part of; referred to the world of psychology as "social phobia". "What??", "Me??"..."yes, me"...was the rigourously honest appraisal of self I embraced as I shared my truth to fellow travellers on a teleconference call this morning.
There are two sides to this social anorexic existence for me: emotional and physical. Because I have been sooo "out there" with sharing my thoughts and feeling in virtual recovery rooms, a cloud of illusion fogged a part of my reality. Yes, I am "out there" emotionally, but physically...I have been tucked away in the corners of life...hiding my talents, my gifts, the message of recovery I've received with a front row seat to God's miracles of healing from obesity, etc...a miracle of physical healing I feel compelled to reveal...to share in a larger audience.
I'm happy to say that I have, for the past few weeks, been willing and have taken action in joining in social outings with folks; blindly taking cues from inner urgings to "go play"; accepting invitations to "join in reindeer games"...to "Kick it", so to speak with others...LOL...I'm so proud of my self for accepting God's invitation to grow through healthy action. And, as a result of courageously being willing to do differently...to practice healthy actions, I have been blessed with the gift of this awareness of social phobia in my life (previously, I didn't see the physical isolation as an issue to be addressed); to practice acceptance of and gratitude for awareness; cause awareness, opening of my eyes to personal truth without condemnation is my key to living "God's Best Life"...and to being a living testimony for my God and HIS power to transform the unhealthy me into the new and improved healthy me; being a source of inspiration to myself as well as others who need an example of hope...as so many have been for me...I now get to be a trusted servant sharing the healing power of God!!
Today, I am committed to getting the support I need to develop in this newly revealed area of life; have taken steps to heal in this area so that I can continue this journey back to "True Self", back to my own personal place of internal "Eden"...the place I was born to reside.
Is a fear of people/social phobia holding you back from God's Best in your life? If yes, how so...what does social anorexia look like in your life? Are you willing to allow God to take your hand and walk you ever so gently to healing from fear of humiliation, approval seeking, and emotional pain perceived from others who are also sick and suffering and in need of healing...in need of their return to "Eden"...
"GOD APPROVED OF ME FROM BEFORE MY MOTHER'S WOMB; I AM THE APPLE OF HIS EYE; I'M SO IMPORTANT TO HIM THAT HE HAS EVERY HAIR ON MY HEAD COUNTED; I'M MORE VALUABLE THAN RUBIES...NOT ONE SPARROW FALLS FROM THE SKY WITHOUT GOD'S KNOWLEDGE...HOW MUCH MORE IMPORTANT AM I...HE VALUES MY THOUGHTS, MY FEELING, MY EMOTIONS, MY CONCERNS AND WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME...THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND UNWAVERING DEVOTION :-D"
A stroll down memory lane revealed a pattern of isolation also called social anorexia in one 12 step community I am part of; referred to the world of psychology as "social phobia". "What??", "Me??"..."yes, me"...was the rigourously honest appraisal of self I embraced as I shared my truth to fellow travellers on a teleconference call this morning.
There are two sides to this social anorexic existence for me: emotional and physical. Because I have been sooo "out there" with sharing my thoughts and feeling in virtual recovery rooms, a cloud of illusion fogged a part of my reality. Yes, I am "out there" emotionally, but physically...I have been tucked away in the corners of life...hiding my talents, my gifts, the message of recovery I've received with a front row seat to God's miracles of healing from obesity, etc...a miracle of physical healing I feel compelled to reveal...to share in a larger audience.
I'm happy to say that I have, for the past few weeks, been willing and have taken action in joining in social outings with folks; blindly taking cues from inner urgings to "go play"; accepting invitations to "join in reindeer games"...to "Kick it", so to speak with others...LOL...I'm so proud of my self for accepting God's invitation to grow through healthy action. And, as a result of courageously being willing to do differently...to practice healthy actions, I have been blessed with the gift of this awareness of social phobia in my life (previously, I didn't see the physical isolation as an issue to be addressed); to practice acceptance of and gratitude for awareness; cause awareness, opening of my eyes to personal truth without condemnation is my key to living "God's Best Life"...and to being a living testimony for my God and HIS power to transform the unhealthy me into the new and improved healthy me; being a source of inspiration to myself as well as others who need an example of hope...as so many have been for me...I now get to be a trusted servant sharing the healing power of God!!
Today, I am committed to getting the support I need to develop in this newly revealed area of life; have taken steps to heal in this area so that I can continue this journey back to "True Self", back to my own personal place of internal "Eden"...the place I was born to reside.
Is a fear of people/social phobia holding you back from God's Best in your life? If yes, how so...what does social anorexia look like in your life? Are you willing to allow God to take your hand and walk you ever so gently to healing from fear of humiliation, approval seeking, and emotional pain perceived from others who are also sick and suffering and in need of healing...in need of their return to "Eden"...
"GOD APPROVED OF ME FROM BEFORE MY MOTHER'S WOMB; I AM THE APPLE OF HIS EYE; I'M SO IMPORTANT TO HIM THAT HE HAS EVERY HAIR ON MY HEAD COUNTED; I'M MORE VALUABLE THAN RUBIES...NOT ONE SPARROW FALLS FROM THE SKY WITHOUT GOD'S KNOWLEDGE...HOW MUCH MORE IMPORTANT AM I...HE VALUES MY THOUGHTS, MY FEELING, MY EMOTIONS, MY CONCERNS AND WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME...THANK YOU GOD FOR YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND UNWAVERING DEVOTION :-D"
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Saturday, December 8, 2012
God does the swicheroo
Intuition: based on what one is feeling as true without conscious reasoning...
I am filled with gratitude right now. Gratitude for healing. For years, I suffered from a sense of "helplessness" that resulted from victim mentality....that I had no influence over some aspects of my life; for years, I embraced suffering from perfectionistic expectation...not accepting myself as the fallible person that I am...the human that I am.
The above resulted from unhealthy values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. I'm grateful today that I am not a victim, that I have choice...I can: 1) accept person/situation as is and do nothing 2) I can accept person/situation and choose to adjust my attitude 3) I can remove myself from the person/situation...what action I take depends on the guidance of my God through healthy feelings of self worth and love that I have acquired through a range of healthy actions: support groups, Bible study, reading other recovery literature, prayer and meditation; and basically going wherever the Spirit of God leads me to find answers: knocking, seeking, asking...
This journey to healing...journey to self love and acceptance is spectacular! As I discover the unhealthy and consciously make healthy choices (it's beneficial to stop at time of frustration...at time of movement away from place of internal peace and immediately say, "God, I need your help...I'm frustrated, irritated, etc"), God, in His timing, does a swicheroo. Somewhere along the way, healthy becomes my norm...and I may visit the unhealthy way of thinking/doing, but I no longer live there....the healthy becomes my norm.
Key in my healing is to "try" new things; to step out on what I feel or to trust my perception/descernment (that is lead of God when I act from place of love vs place of fear)...as I trust a Loving God to be my safety net...trusting that if I fall/miss it, God will help me back up...this part of my journey remindes me of a 2 year old learning to walk...they fall, but they get back up; they find tables and other people's knee caps and legs to hold onto when they need support; but they get courage to try again; until one day they run....development is a process...a series of healthy actions.
One day at a time, more and more, I am learning to trust my feelings and perceptions and seeing that my choices are healthier as result of healthy values. This process of development will continue for as long as I am on the earth...so glad that you are on the road to "Happy Destiny" with me....
Are you willing to practice trusting your "gut feeling"? Are you willing to get help from supportive groups/people who embrace you and respect your right to be human to make mistakes; those who help you see the growth/development that can result from making mistakes and taking healthy contrary actions?
I am filled with gratitude right now. Gratitude for healing. For years, I suffered from a sense of "helplessness" that resulted from victim mentality....that I had no influence over some aspects of my life; for years, I embraced suffering from perfectionistic expectation...not accepting myself as the fallible person that I am...the human that I am.
The above resulted from unhealthy values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. I'm grateful today that I am not a victim, that I have choice...I can: 1) accept person/situation as is and do nothing 2) I can accept person/situation and choose to adjust my attitude 3) I can remove myself from the person/situation...what action I take depends on the guidance of my God through healthy feelings of self worth and love that I have acquired through a range of healthy actions: support groups, Bible study, reading other recovery literature, prayer and meditation; and basically going wherever the Spirit of God leads me to find answers: knocking, seeking, asking...
This journey to healing...journey to self love and acceptance is spectacular! As I discover the unhealthy and consciously make healthy choices (it's beneficial to stop at time of frustration...at time of movement away from place of internal peace and immediately say, "God, I need your help...I'm frustrated, irritated, etc"), God, in His timing, does a swicheroo. Somewhere along the way, healthy becomes my norm...and I may visit the unhealthy way of thinking/doing, but I no longer live there....the healthy becomes my norm.
Key in my healing is to "try" new things; to step out on what I feel or to trust my perception/descernment (that is lead of God when I act from place of love vs place of fear)...as I trust a Loving God to be my safety net...trusting that if I fall/miss it, God will help me back up...this part of my journey remindes me of a 2 year old learning to walk...they fall, but they get back up; they find tables and other people's knee caps and legs to hold onto when they need support; but they get courage to try again; until one day they run....development is a process...a series of healthy actions.
One day at a time, more and more, I am learning to trust my feelings and perceptions and seeing that my choices are healthier as result of healthy values. This process of development will continue for as long as I am on the earth...so glad that you are on the road to "Happy Destiny" with me....
Are you willing to practice trusting your "gut feeling"? Are you willing to get help from supportive groups/people who embrace you and respect your right to be human to make mistakes; those who help you see the growth/development that can result from making mistakes and taking healthy contrary actions?
Friday, December 7, 2012
When I am weak, He is strong...
Today, I'll be honest and share that I really don't want to write this blog entry; additionally, I really didn't want to follow thru to completion, a 6 week long service opportunity that ended this morning.
When I first realized this resistance, I questioned, "Why am I feeling this way...why do I want to stop?" Am I not feeling well physically? (have a bit of a cough). Now, if I were not feeling well, then a pause in service would be an act of self-care...one I would honor; but I found that the reason for the pause was something else. I have chosen to get less sleep this week and I'm tired. Then, my thought went to..."well, I'm tired and I'm going to ask someone else to take on this service opportunity". "A-wall" thoughts continued in justification of this. Then peaceful suggestion stepped in...affirming that physically I was well; that that this was the final day of service and that I could rest from service opportunity next month; but, it was important for me to follow thru to completion...which I honored.
There have been times when I have given up...not because of some type of physical illness. In the past, I have" given up"...given up on a relationship, a dream, etc ...not wanting to go the extra mile because perceived pain or fear or doubt of my ability to endure through; but over the years, I have learned that in the mist of challenge lies the growth opportunity. Challenging the doubt, persevering, and trusting that when i need help I can simply say, "God, I need your help...what's the next step" and expect Divine Guidance. In the mist of challenge...where I am weak, this is where God has shown me his great loyalty, caring and ability to strengthen me. When I am weak, He is strong.
Sometimes that divine strengthening comes in form of intuitive thought to ask someone for help; to get info off line from an Internet search; sometimes it comes in form of a 'right on time' comment from a friend or stranger; and sometimes it comes in form of miraculous outcome....so, trudging thru challenge has proven to be a great benefit in my life: I grow in confidence as I learn to trust God as my ever present safety net of provision as I walk faithfully and courageously in this journey of life.
Today, whenever I feel the first signs of frustration (i.e weariness, confusion, etc), I am reminded that I can say, "God, I'm feeling ____________....I don't know what to do right now...what is your will; what do you want me to do now?"; and expect my Divine Super Hero God to lead me.
Are you willing to ask God 's help through challenges of life today....great and small...
When I first realized this resistance, I questioned, "Why am I feeling this way...why do I want to stop?" Am I not feeling well physically? (have a bit of a cough). Now, if I were not feeling well, then a pause in service would be an act of self-care...one I would honor; but I found that the reason for the pause was something else. I have chosen to get less sleep this week and I'm tired. Then, my thought went to..."well, I'm tired and I'm going to ask someone else to take on this service opportunity". "A-wall" thoughts continued in justification of this. Then peaceful suggestion stepped in...affirming that physically I was well; that that this was the final day of service and that I could rest from service opportunity next month; but, it was important for me to follow thru to completion...which I honored.
There have been times when I have given up...not because of some type of physical illness. In the past, I have" given up"...given up on a relationship, a dream, etc ...not wanting to go the extra mile because perceived pain or fear or doubt of my ability to endure through; but over the years, I have learned that in the mist of challenge lies the growth opportunity. Challenging the doubt, persevering, and trusting that when i need help I can simply say, "God, I need your help...what's the next step" and expect Divine Guidance. In the mist of challenge...where I am weak, this is where God has shown me his great loyalty, caring and ability to strengthen me. When I am weak, He is strong.
Sometimes that divine strengthening comes in form of intuitive thought to ask someone for help; to get info off line from an Internet search; sometimes it comes in form of a 'right on time' comment from a friend or stranger; and sometimes it comes in form of miraculous outcome....so, trudging thru challenge has proven to be a great benefit in my life: I grow in confidence as I learn to trust God as my ever present safety net of provision as I walk faithfully and courageously in this journey of life.
Today, whenever I feel the first signs of frustration (i.e weariness, confusion, etc), I am reminded that I can say, "God, I'm feeling ____________....I don't know what to do right now...what is your will; what do you want me to do now?"; and expect my Divine Super Hero God to lead me.
Are you willing to ask God 's help through challenges of life today....great and small...
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Healthy Rewards
For the past 7 years, I have been a member of spiritually healing support groups. God has utilized one to help me maintain a healthy body size for almost four years (maintaining well over 100 pound weight release); another is centered around maintaining healthy behavior with money management.
Yesterday, I realized a reoccurring thought and corresponding behavior that was not serving me...not beneficial. For two consecutive days, I purchased a smoothie; but when the thought to purchase another yesterday (would have been the fourth one in 3 days), healthy thinking posed questions, "Why do I want another smoothie? What's the motive behind this thought? Is it healthy?"
Thanks to insight from God, as I self-reflected, I realized a need was being revealed. The need for celebration/reward. I am nearing the end of a very long work period...have persevered through challenges in life as well as challenges with job responsibilities; was feeling proud of accomplishment and wanted to reward or celebrate the fact that despite challenges...still I stand :) Though, it is perfectly fine to celebrate and reward myself, the compulsive behavior of continuous reward was not beneficial. For me, thoughts of food as "reward or celebration" is not healthy...because I set myself up for abuse of food. Food's basic purpose is for nourishment...the smoothy's purpose was for nourishment (I consider it as a sweet snack option) not for reward; thankful for the reminder of this value.
Another thought that emerged in addition to food as reward, was condoning spending of money above budgeted amount for food items. I have an allotted amount of money designated to food/snack purchase a week. Staying within the healthy boundaries established is a way that I show respect for the financial blessings God has given...being a good steward with my money. Purchasing several smoothies within a week put me over my budget. Seven dollars a day seems an innocent number by itself; but 7 dollars over the span of several days was, in the treasured words of my late grandfather, "A horse of a different color";...something totally different...something to take a closer look at.
Thanks to this insight, prayer, reaching out to share my experience; and humility in asking questions, I received "no cost" and "low cost" celebration/reward ideas that did not support food as reward: a bubble bath with candles, a gift of time in form of one day to do whatever I want...free of schedule; time in nature; this is a begining; and it meets my need for acknowlegement for work well done. I am also adding the category of "luxurious reward" which includes my domestic and international travel to fun and exotic places as my budget allows.
So, how do you reward yourself? What are "no cost", "low cost" and "luxurious reward" things you can do to celebrate accomplishment of a milestone or goal in your life?
Yesterday, I realized a reoccurring thought and corresponding behavior that was not serving me...not beneficial. For two consecutive days, I purchased a smoothie; but when the thought to purchase another yesterday (would have been the fourth one in 3 days), healthy thinking posed questions, "Why do I want another smoothie? What's the motive behind this thought? Is it healthy?"
Thanks to insight from God, as I self-reflected, I realized a need was being revealed. The need for celebration/reward. I am nearing the end of a very long work period...have persevered through challenges in life as well as challenges with job responsibilities; was feeling proud of accomplishment and wanted to reward or celebrate the fact that despite challenges...still I stand :) Though, it is perfectly fine to celebrate and reward myself, the compulsive behavior of continuous reward was not beneficial. For me, thoughts of food as "reward or celebration" is not healthy...because I set myself up for abuse of food. Food's basic purpose is for nourishment...the smoothy's purpose was for nourishment (I consider it as a sweet snack option) not for reward; thankful for the reminder of this value.
Another thought that emerged in addition to food as reward, was condoning spending of money above budgeted amount for food items. I have an allotted amount of money designated to food/snack purchase a week. Staying within the healthy boundaries established is a way that I show respect for the financial blessings God has given...being a good steward with my money. Purchasing several smoothies within a week put me over my budget. Seven dollars a day seems an innocent number by itself; but 7 dollars over the span of several days was, in the treasured words of my late grandfather, "A horse of a different color";...something totally different...something to take a closer look at.
Thanks to this insight, prayer, reaching out to share my experience; and humility in asking questions, I received "no cost" and "low cost" celebration/reward ideas that did not support food as reward: a bubble bath with candles, a gift of time in form of one day to do whatever I want...free of schedule; time in nature; this is a begining; and it meets my need for acknowlegement for work well done. I am also adding the category of "luxurious reward" which includes my domestic and international travel to fun and exotic places as my budget allows.
So, how do you reward yourself? What are "no cost", "low cost" and "luxurious reward" things you can do to celebrate accomplishment of a milestone or goal in your life?
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Overcoming Self-Righteousness
Taking a personal inventory of my assets as well as liabilities is crucial to healthy living for me. Looking honesty at what can change as well as what can remain the same cause it's working...yielding positive outcome is powerfully beneficial.
Self-righteousness (seeing my way as best way resulting in judgement of other ways of doing as less than or unacceptable) reared it's ugly head in the mist of self-refection. I became aware of self-righteous judgement of myself (thru unrealistic, robotic perfectionistic expectation of self); of others and of God (thru judging their way of doing as less than).
Because of this awareness, I became willing to ask God's help in changing this shortcoming...without self condemnation...after all...as the musical group Human League say, "I'm Only Human". Today, I am thankful for replacement healthy thoughts and actions.
Instead of perfectionistic expectation of self, I can say "easy does it"...and give myself what I need in the moment; which could be more time and patience to complete a task; with others, I can allow them to be who they are...and respect their right to choose and operate upon the constructs of their own belief system/standards. Sometimes, this may include healthy decision to remove myself or limiti interaction...if their choices could negatively influence my healing...which equates to setting healthy boundary for myself (self-care). And, with God, when self-righteous rebellion to God's way of doing pops up, I can remind myself of all the times that following my way has landed me sick and suffering in the muddy ditches of life; and I can ask God for willingness to be willing to trust; to trust that I am that God has by best interest at heart (remember all the times God has shown care is helpful here); and that I am loved, protected and secure in his will. Meditation of God's love wrapping around me as a warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold winter's eve or visualizing myself safe and protected in my "God Bubble"...my protective buffer between the world and myself works for me.
Have you passed critical, self righteous judgement on yourself (in thought or word)? Have you passed critical ,self-righteous judgement on others because they chose differently from you? Has your relationship with God been hindered because of self-righteous believe that "My way is better than your way God"...whether this was verbally stated with word or non-verbally stated thru actions contrary to God's way of doing? And, most importantly, are you willing to accept your humanness, ask God's help, share shortcoming with another person on the journey of healing; and then take the next healthy action as inspired by God.....
Self-righteousness (seeing my way as best way resulting in judgement of other ways of doing as less than or unacceptable) reared it's ugly head in the mist of self-refection. I became aware of self-righteous judgement of myself (thru unrealistic, robotic perfectionistic expectation of self); of others and of God (thru judging their way of doing as less than).
Because of this awareness, I became willing to ask God's help in changing this shortcoming...without self condemnation...after all...as the musical group Human League say, "I'm Only Human". Today, I am thankful for replacement healthy thoughts and actions.
Instead of perfectionistic expectation of self, I can say "easy does it"...and give myself what I need in the moment; which could be more time and patience to complete a task; with others, I can allow them to be who they are...and respect their right to choose and operate upon the constructs of their own belief system/standards. Sometimes, this may include healthy decision to remove myself or limiti interaction...if their choices could negatively influence my healing...which equates to setting healthy boundary for myself (self-care). And, with God, when self-righteous rebellion to God's way of doing pops up, I can remind myself of all the times that following my way has landed me sick and suffering in the muddy ditches of life; and I can ask God for willingness to be willing to trust; to trust that I am that God has by best interest at heart (remember all the times God has shown care is helpful here); and that I am loved, protected and secure in his will. Meditation of God's love wrapping around me as a warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold winter's eve or visualizing myself safe and protected in my "God Bubble"...my protective buffer between the world and myself works for me.
Have you passed critical, self righteous judgement on yourself (in thought or word)? Have you passed critical ,self-righteous judgement on others because they chose differently from you? Has your relationship with God been hindered because of self-righteous believe that "My way is better than your way God"...whether this was verbally stated with word or non-verbally stated thru actions contrary to God's way of doing? And, most importantly, are you willing to accept your humanness, ask God's help, share shortcoming with another person on the journey of healing; and then take the next healthy action as inspired by God.....
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Fear as Prompt to Self Care
Anxiety has been a part of my life for years. My actions were, for the most part, driven by fear whose flames can be fanned by self doubt (doubt of ability to do something...usually something new; and doubt around endurance through something).
God's Insight received around fear today is extraordinary to my healing process. First, there are times when there are layers of fear in my life...when I ignore myself emotionally and am not intuned to my body and it's movement from place of peace to place of disturbance, concerns/fears can pile up...end result can be procrastination or resistance in going forward.
What has been beneficial when I am in place of stagnation is to: 1. Not contaminate...realize that I'm human and far from perfect...practicing acceptance of where I am 2. Ask God for help with understanding what I need to do...what actions I need to take 3. Journaling to reveal the fears 4. Acknowledge the fears and affirm that I am divinely protected (reciting scriptures affirming God's love and protection and attentive care are helpful here); 4. Recognize the unhealthy fear and asking God's help in seeing truth...Is this a true threat to my well-being? Usually it's not...only healthy action is required to quench the emotional fires of fear. 5. Reaching out to others who are also on the journey of self discovery to verbalize the fear as well as the replacement thoughts of courage faith action. 6. Thank God for helping to change...so, when opportunity presents self to choose the old unhealthy way of doing, choice is made to practice the new, healthy way of doing. 7. Trust God with the outcome...the place where the new, healthy behavior becomes the norm.
Additionally, I also learned that when I am in fear..that it is an opportunity to offer myself care and nurturing...to self sooth with kind words that remind me of my options (seek, knock, ask for healthy options...sometimes this includes Internet search for me or asking others with similar/same experience about what has worked for them); knowing that I am not "stuck" in any situation; that I am not a victim...I have choice...I can accept situation and do nothing; I can adjust my attitude or I can remove myself (depending on the situation). If there are questions I need answered to feel safe and secure, I give myself permission to ask them. I am growing in self-love and appreciation; in acknowledgement of my needs and wants and giving myself the gift of self nurturing and accepting this gift from others. Life is Lovely...
Are there fears or anxiety you've felt that are in need of addressing? Have you been stuck in the ditches of life...paralyzed by fear...life lacking positive momentum? Facing the fear as God and other's hold your hand can be medicinal...are you willing to give it a try. What do you say to allowing fear to prompt you to give yourself the gift of self care by attending to emotional needs...
God's Insight received around fear today is extraordinary to my healing process. First, there are times when there are layers of fear in my life...when I ignore myself emotionally and am not intuned to my body and it's movement from place of peace to place of disturbance, concerns/fears can pile up...end result can be procrastination or resistance in going forward.
What has been beneficial when I am in place of stagnation is to: 1. Not contaminate...realize that I'm human and far from perfect...practicing acceptance of where I am 2. Ask God for help with understanding what I need to do...what actions I need to take 3. Journaling to reveal the fears 4. Acknowledge the fears and affirm that I am divinely protected (reciting scriptures affirming God's love and protection and attentive care are helpful here); 4. Recognize the unhealthy fear and asking God's help in seeing truth...Is this a true threat to my well-being? Usually it's not...only healthy action is required to quench the emotional fires of fear. 5. Reaching out to others who are also on the journey of self discovery to verbalize the fear as well as the replacement thoughts of courage faith action. 6. Thank God for helping to change...so, when opportunity presents self to choose the old unhealthy way of doing, choice is made to practice the new, healthy way of doing. 7. Trust God with the outcome...the place where the new, healthy behavior becomes the norm.
Additionally, I also learned that when I am in fear..that it is an opportunity to offer myself care and nurturing...to self sooth with kind words that remind me of my options (seek, knock, ask for healthy options...sometimes this includes Internet search for me or asking others with similar/same experience about what has worked for them); knowing that I am not "stuck" in any situation; that I am not a victim...I have choice...I can accept situation and do nothing; I can adjust my attitude or I can remove myself (depending on the situation). If there are questions I need answered to feel safe and secure, I give myself permission to ask them. I am growing in self-love and appreciation; in acknowledgement of my needs and wants and giving myself the gift of self nurturing and accepting this gift from others. Life is Lovely...
Are there fears or anxiety you've felt that are in need of addressing? Have you been stuck in the ditches of life...paralyzed by fear...life lacking positive momentum? Facing the fear as God and other's hold your hand can be medicinal...are you willing to give it a try. What do you say to allowing fear to prompt you to give yourself the gift of self care by attending to emotional needs...
Monday, December 3, 2012
"Bump Fear; Trust God; Take Healthy Action"
Fear can be so subtle...slowly rising waters in life that , if un-checked, could drown the life out of life. I'm so thankful when I see a trickle of fear; have courage to address before allowing the fear flood to suffocate my life.
I realized that I had been procrastinating. As shared before I keep a daily agenda...tracking the gift of time as so to be a good steward over it. In conjunction with time tracking, I also keep a "to do" list to remind me of key items (at least six a day) to get done that day.
Yesterday, I realized that I had been procrastinating on one particular item (procrastination is usually an outer sign of inner challenge...fear). This morning, denial cleared and I saw the fear. Today, I commit to say "BUMP FEAR; TRUST GOD; TAKE HEALTHY ACTION"...by taking healthy action, even though I feel the fear, is saying to God, " I'm not sure, but I'm going to walk courageously now thru the fear ("only way out of it is to walk thru it") as I hold on to your hand"...while reaching out to others to share where I am emotionally; as well sharing the healthy action I choose to take as God helps me to overcome fear (healthy action kills fear for me).
I also commit to journaling around the feeling of fear that is bubbling to the top of my awareness to better understand root cause (understanding further opens my eyes to self and helps me to heal..to choose the healthy action next time) I also commit to bookending(calling a trusted friend before I take courageous action; and calling same trusted friend after I take the courageous action).
God is within me...fear is "false evidence appearing real" ...there is no "real" threat; the action I am to take will not harm my life...what emotional pain am I wanting to avoid...pain I feel that I can't handle...don't want to handle.
This morning, I was reminded by a loving friend"s text that God's Grace is there to see me through any challenge...as I walk thru the turbulence...feeling and acknowledging my feelings without shame...expecting my Hero God to help me overcome as he holds my hand through this exercise of strengthening. I am an overcomer thru the Blood of Jesus!!!
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!! The wisdom of the universe is within me leading and guiding me...I am never alone!!! All I need do is to stop, go inside to the throne of God within (my spirit and God's are intertwined) and ask for help in way of inspiration, intuitive thought or guidance ...and then expect God's help as I take faith action....this route never fails.....I am always lovingly cared for when I look to God for guidance and suggestion and then take the action that aligns with the Word of God...and knowing that if I miss it...that God is like the ULTIMATE GPS SYSTEM...that I can trust to get me back on track again...I am loved...
Is fear suffocation the life out of your life? Are you willing to ask God for help and then to take faith action...the next healthy action as he holds your hand through your walk to victory...
I realized that I had been procrastinating. As shared before I keep a daily agenda...tracking the gift of time as so to be a good steward over it. In conjunction with time tracking, I also keep a "to do" list to remind me of key items (at least six a day) to get done that day.
Yesterday, I realized that I had been procrastinating on one particular item (procrastination is usually an outer sign of inner challenge...fear). This morning, denial cleared and I saw the fear. Today, I commit to say "BUMP FEAR; TRUST GOD; TAKE HEALTHY ACTION"...by taking healthy action, even though I feel the fear, is saying to God, " I'm not sure, but I'm going to walk courageously now thru the fear ("only way out of it is to walk thru it") as I hold on to your hand"...while reaching out to others to share where I am emotionally; as well sharing the healthy action I choose to take as God helps me to overcome fear (healthy action kills fear for me).
I also commit to journaling around the feeling of fear that is bubbling to the top of my awareness to better understand root cause (understanding further opens my eyes to self and helps me to heal..to choose the healthy action next time) I also commit to bookending(calling a trusted friend before I take courageous action; and calling same trusted friend after I take the courageous action).
God is within me...fear is "false evidence appearing real" ...there is no "real" threat; the action I am to take will not harm my life...what emotional pain am I wanting to avoid...pain I feel that I can't handle...don't want to handle.
This morning, I was reminded by a loving friend"s text that God's Grace is there to see me through any challenge...as I walk thru the turbulence...feeling and acknowledging my feelings without shame...expecting my Hero God to help me overcome as he holds my hand through this exercise of strengthening. I am an overcomer thru the Blood of Jesus!!!
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!! The wisdom of the universe is within me leading and guiding me...I am never alone!!! All I need do is to stop, go inside to the throne of God within (my spirit and God's are intertwined) and ask for help in way of inspiration, intuitive thought or guidance ...and then expect God's help as I take faith action....this route never fails.....I am always lovingly cared for when I look to God for guidance and suggestion and then take the action that aligns with the Word of God...and knowing that if I miss it...that God is like the ULTIMATE GPS SYSTEM...that I can trust to get me back on track again...I am loved...
Is fear suffocation the life out of your life? Are you willing to ask God for help and then to take faith action...the next healthy action as he holds your hand through your walk to victory...
Sunday, December 2, 2012
God As Loving God
My "Trust Journal" has been a blessing. About six years ago, I received intuitive thought to start documenting all the times (from as far back as I could remember) God had cared for me...those times when I absolutely knew that I had nothing to do with a successful outcome.
One of my earliest memories was one of near death by drowning at the age of 12. A miracle took place under the water that allowed me to reach the surface, frazzled, fearful, but still alive; another time, my eyeball could have been poked/damaged, but it was not.
After chronicling God's loving presence from my past, realizing that God had always been there protecting me and guiding me...I was willing to surrender the illusion of control I had over my own life...one situation at a time; one day at a time. Today, I have a couple of journals (I write them down occassionally now when I need evidence in new areas of my life) filled with personal evidence of God's protection, guidance and care in my life. When I am fearful, I remember that God is there and will never leave me alone...He is within me; has the hairs on my head counted; values me more than rubies; that he approved of me from before my mother's womb; and wants me to trust him; to commune with him in fearful times; in joyful times and every time in between.
Writing these blessings down has been a pivotal part of my healing...otherwise, I tend to forget the goodness events...as if they had never happened. My "Trust Journal" has assisted in the strengthening process of my trust relationship with God; and has build my confidence in God's willingness and capability to care for me...he truly has my best interest at heart...no matter what the situation looks like, feels like, smells like...and I continue to fan the flames of this loving relationship thru continued trust surrender...without condemnation or need for perfection...I do my best on a daily bases...this is all my God asks of me...my best.
Do you have a "Trust Journal"...personal evidence of God's Loving care in your life? If not, are you willing to start one?
One of my earliest memories was one of near death by drowning at the age of 12. A miracle took place under the water that allowed me to reach the surface, frazzled, fearful, but still alive; another time, my eyeball could have been poked/damaged, but it was not.
After chronicling God's loving presence from my past, realizing that God had always been there protecting me and guiding me...I was willing to surrender the illusion of control I had over my own life...one situation at a time; one day at a time. Today, I have a couple of journals (I write them down occassionally now when I need evidence in new areas of my life) filled with personal evidence of God's protection, guidance and care in my life. When I am fearful, I remember that God is there and will never leave me alone...He is within me; has the hairs on my head counted; values me more than rubies; that he approved of me from before my mother's womb; and wants me to trust him; to commune with him in fearful times; in joyful times and every time in between.
Writing these blessings down has been a pivotal part of my healing...otherwise, I tend to forget the goodness events...as if they had never happened. My "Trust Journal" has assisted in the strengthening process of my trust relationship with God; and has build my confidence in God's willingness and capability to care for me...he truly has my best interest at heart...no matter what the situation looks like, feels like, smells like...and I continue to fan the flames of this loving relationship thru continued trust surrender...without condemnation or need for perfection...I do my best on a daily bases...this is all my God asks of me...my best.
Do you have a "Trust Journal"...personal evidence of God's Loving care in your life? If not, are you willing to start one?
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Taking Responsibility
When I'm in vagueness, for what ever reason, in the moment, I'm choosing not to take responsibility in the moment. Today, I know the value of clarity with my time and my money. Sometimes, the vagueness comes from fear of knowing that I'm helpless in changing...I know that this is not true. I can reflect upon times that I, as I hold the hand of God and trusted friends, am able. When I'm in fear, I can ask for help by first practicing rigourous honesty in where I am.
When I am resistant to self care that comes from awareness in both of these areas, this is an opportunity for self reflection and for identification of the healthy behavior change I could choose; as well as prayer for God's help with all of this....without condemnation...accepting that I am not expected to be perfect...this is an unrealistic expectation of self that causes emotional drama for me; instead of perfectionistic drama, I choose loving acceptance of where I am...and thank God for the awareness and for willingness to take the next healthy action into clarity.
Are you practing vagueness in any area of your life? Are you willing to ask God's help in revealing the root cause? Are you willing to share honestly with "safe person"who also practices transparency with shortcomings/humaness? Are you willing to take healthy actions towards healthy change...I am...
When I am resistant to self care that comes from awareness in both of these areas, this is an opportunity for self reflection and for identification of the healthy behavior change I could choose; as well as prayer for God's help with all of this....without condemnation...accepting that I am not expected to be perfect...this is an unrealistic expectation of self that causes emotional drama for me; instead of perfectionistic drama, I choose loving acceptance of where I am...and thank God for the awareness and for willingness to take the next healthy action into clarity.
Are you practing vagueness in any area of your life? Are you willing to ask God's help in revealing the root cause? Are you willing to share honestly with "safe person"who also practices transparency with shortcomings/humaness? Are you willing to take healthy actions towards healthy change...I am...
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