Self-centeredness vs self-care

There's a line in the Alcohols Anonymous Big Book that shares that self-centeredness driven by fear is at the root of all drama in life.  I have really been pondering this concept of self centeredness driven by fear and it's destructive impact on quality of life.  "Me, me, me" driven by "More, more, more"; putting undue stress and strain on self (using unrealistic perfection as measuring stick), others and God to carry out MY will...to honor MY desires when in a place of deprivation fear...survival fear.

Though "self-centeredness" is unhealthy, self-care (doing what I need to do to care for myself spiritually, emotionally, socially, physically, financially, etc) is not...I am still learning the difference between the two. I see self-centeredness when I am in fear of not getting what I want or need; or if I fear losing what I have (from a person or institution, etc)...and I see self-care as genuine actions taken to love myself (development of interdependent relationship with God, setting healthy boundaries with myself and others; nurturing self emotionally, exercising disciplines with money, time, health, etc).  Self-care is motivated from a heart motive of self love; self centeredness is motivated from a heart motive of fear. 

Being of service to others in conjunction with enhancing trusting, loving relationship with God has been a life changer for me.  What has worked for me (and this represents a paradigm shift for me) is asking God, "How can I be of service to you"...realizing that being of service to God is the same as being of service to the Children of God (whatever done for the least of my children says God...drawing a blank on the scripture )...writing, sharing my journey is one way that I am of service. 

Additionally, I have recently I found myself accepting service position in my neighborhood association; thinking of how I can be of service to my family when I visit for Christmas; but as I plan service to others, I must also keep in mind my personal limitations...being sure that I have adequate rest, food, spiritual time, keep in mind my budget as far as money and time are concerned...and give from place of abundance...cause when I give what I need to survive, I put myself into a sort of debting/deficit where I can not be of maximum service to God or to humanity.  Asking God to help me choose what service opportunities to take and which to leave for another ("there's lots of need in the world, doesn't mean that I am to meet all of it").

How has self centeredness robbed your life of peace in relationship with God, yourself and others? How do you practice self-care? How do you feel about meeting self care needs before serving others?


P.S. Self Care:
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families
The Basic Five(Daily Needs):

1.Adequate Respiration(body ventilation)
2.Adequate Hydration,Nutrition and elimination
3.Adequate Rest and restorative sleep
4.Adequate Temperature Regulation(Internal and external)
5.Adequate Stimulus Level (Avoiding Stimulus Overload and
Stimulus deprivation-pain, fear, panic, despair, and exhaustion)

This information also came from A Crime Scene Reconstruction Workshop
http://www.cyberrecovery.net/forums/showthread.php?t=22448