Loving Parent God, Loving Parent self, Critical Parent voice

In Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families, I learned of the Critical Parent.  This is the negative thoughts sometimes in mind.  Before I joined ACoA, the negative thoughts were very loud and quite frequent.  Today, I have learned to develop a Loving Parent voice...meaning that I have learned to encourage myself, to affirm myself, to celebrate my self; to look for the strengths in my personality and to say, "Yay...you go girl"...also keeping balance, I can also practice being a loving, gentle disciplinarian...lovingly looking at areas for improvement without condemnation and asking God for guidance on what to do to take actions that result in improvement.

I've learned to be a Loving Parent from my ACoA program, but mostly I've learned to be loving from my Loving Parent God who is a revamped version of my old, critical vision of God...a God who was punishing and abusive and seeking perfection.  This is no longer my God...thanks to captured evidence from my life in the pages of my "Trust Journal", I have documented proof of God's loving and guidance; the kind loving ways that I am affirm and encouraged and celebrated unconditionally.

Insight came to me this week regarding interaction with other people.  Realized that I was registering "dangerous" in a situation where I needed to reach out for help.  I resisted in a major way...resistance is a sign for taking a closer look.  God revealed that asking for help in the past had meant enduring through painful/hurtful behaviors and words from others (who were hurt..."hurt people hurt people").  I grieved...crying out the pain from the past that had been suppressed...didn't feel safe crying/expressing pain as a child/younger adult). 

I realized that as a young child and younger adult, I needed healthy boundary skills.  Today, I have them...in addition, I am "protected by Love" (lyric from one of India Arie's songs)...I'm protected by God who helps me through challenging interpersonal situations with wisdom, reminder of my knowledge and skills that I can utilize or if necessary; additionally, God has performed miracles to help me.  I have and can continue to trust God....to trust Love.

And, as I grow in my own healing ..learning to respond with "Loving Parent" voice to the Critical Parent voice within my own thoughts,  I am simultaneously learning to respond in love vs react from perception of danger to others expression of pain (that's projected towards me).  Love and tolerance of self and others is my goal.

A loving, protective all powerful God who has my best interest in heart is my God today?  Who is yours? If you are in need of a revamped understanding of God...are you willing to start with a list of "best friend" attributes and see God as this?